Forgive and forget ... or forgive and drown?

Whether you believe in re-incarnation or some other belief system that teaches you that we are here to learn something ... or even if you believe in nothing but the strength contained within yourself - there are lessons to be learned in the journey of life.

Some believe that we come back to this life to correct our wrong-doings from a previous life.  We face hurdles in this life, varying in severity, relative to our mistakes or wrongful actions of past lives.

A lot of religious or spiritual paths preach that forgiveness is essential in order for us to divorce ourselves from painful experiences ... and to move on in a healthy way from 'lessons'.

I was thinking about the issue of forgiveness.  I've forgiven people for what they've do to me ... but there are some things that I can't forget.  I forgave my Mother and Father for the childhood I endured as a result of their parenting; and I forgave my brother and sister for their part in this.  I can't forget though, so the best thing for me is distance.

Life is like living an exam ... we don't have to score 100% to pass.  So if the most we can do is forgive the people that have hurt us the most, that has to be enough.  If we have tried to visit them but have found that it creates a really bad stress reaction or anxiety, then we should stay away from those that have created that reaction within us ... you can' t find peace in a storm.

The most important thing about learning the lessons from our experiences is having the ability to close the circle of pain ... so we don't hurt others that come into our lives as a result of the pain we have endured at the hands of others.

We should celebrate the achievements of our children, not ridicule them.  They should be living their journeys for themselves rather than living their lives for other people.  We have a duty to live our lives with a good degree of happiness ... because it's not an easy journey... so do what makes you happy - as long as you're not hurting other people.

We should also take responsibility for our actions and not pass the responsibility for our own failings onto the shoulders of others.  It is unacceptable to allow a child to carry the blame for an incident when the responsibility of care lay with the parents.

I won't be visiting my blood relatives again.

I wish my Father a peaceful passing when his time comes ... and the same to my other relatives.

Villayat 'Wolf' Sunkmanitu